I think I might be able to do this school thing after all! Yeah, it's hard and very different than what I'm used to, but I think I might be able to squeeze through. Here are my grades so far:
Speech: Quiz 1: A+, Quiz 2: A+, Speech to Inform: A.
Biology: Test 1: 12.7 out of 15 questions, got 8 wrong.
Pre-Algebra: Test 1: 84 (possibly a 92, pending teacher's grading on a make-up type assignment)
Biology Lab: Quiz 1: 7 out of 10 questions with one bonus question (i didn't answer), got three wrong; Quiz 2: 7 out of 7 questions with two bonus questions (one answered wrong and the other not answered at all), got two wrong.
English (Grammar and Composition): Preleminary Research Paper: A+.
Ok, so I'm not doing so hot in biology. It's hard and I'm really struggling with it. There are so many little things that I'm supposed to know, so many things that I'm about 99% sure I won't have to know later on in life. I'm trying and that's what matters, right? Heh. I'm proud of my accomplishments.
I know what I'm going to do my demonstration speech on...crocheting. Yeah, you heard me. Crocheting. It's something that I'm good at, something that I like to do, and also school friendly. Ooh! Maybe I can make a cup holder for everyone...that would be awesome!
Donnerstag, September 22, 2005
Dienstag, September 20, 2005
Rollercoaster
Lately my thoughts and feelings have been a rollercoaster more intense than the Titan and Texas Giant put together. This weekend my beloved boyfriend, Josh, came into town for his dad's birthday and to hear me sing in big church. Friday night we went on a picnic at Grapevine Lake, Saturday, we hung out at his house, ate steak that his mom made for lunch, we went and saw the 40-Year-Old Virgin, ate dinner at Chili's, watched From Hell at his house, then he took me home. Sunday, I sang in big church in the morning, went with Josh and his family, immediate and some extended, to BJ's for lunch, then back to Josh's for dessert (presents were after I left, I assume).
I was on a high when I was with him, I was depressed when he left. Singing in church cheered me up, my lonely thoughts at home put me back down again.
I woke Monday morning in the worst mood imaginable. I woke up and felt so empty. The lonliness consumed my soul. I wanted to drive. I wanted to drive far, far away. I wanted to just pack 3-4 days worth of clothes and head out. I would have, if I had the gas money.
I started crying. I tried not to cry and managed to get myself to stop...then in the shower I couldn't control it. I sobbed for a good 10 minutes. I remember thinking to myself that I couldn't tell if the wetness on my face was from tears or water. I stopped before I got out, but when I walked into my room, the tears came again. I frantically thought of who I could call that would be up at 6:30 in the morning. I tried Josh, he was asleep. I knew Chris would be asleep, didn't want to wake her. Lara's cell phone wasn't working, so I didn't even try. I wanted to try some random person from church and thought of two people: Lisa and Amanda. I didn't think Amanda would appreciate an early phonecall from someone she barely knew the name of, so I text messaged Lisa. I found out that night that she wasn't exactly the happiest person that day either. "That's the last time I ask someone for help like this" I thought to myself.
I put in my new Killers cd and cranked it up loud on the way to school, wishing I was on my way out of town rather than to school. I calmed myself down walking into school. I gave my speech in speech class - I think I did well, I'll get my grade back tomorrow. I sat through biology and math, went home, did homework and ate lunch in a good mood. I went to english class at two, went home and finished mandatory reading for the quiz we're going to take on Wednesday in english. I finished my homework with time to spare, took the boys to church, and on my way to the Farney's, my bad mood started seeping back into my brain. The "study" that we did only frustrated me more, for reasons I won't go into now. I fumed to my beloved on my way home, bless his poor little heart.
I wish there was a fast-forward button, as if I'm a pre-recorded video tape. I can hit the fast-forward button and speed into the future, having gone through my "previous" experiences, I just didn't see them happpen.
When I listen to Mr. Brightside by the Killers, I get this knot feeling in my gut, I start feeling depressed, like there's no hope, like I have no choice but to sit and watch everything happen, everything's out of my control... This is the exact feeling I got on Monday morning and it's the feeling I get if I let my mind wander too far.
I suppose I'd better go. I've gotten myself into a funky mood and I need to sleep. I'll talk to you all later. Thanks for the comments. And Josh, you're so sweet!!!
I was on a high when I was with him, I was depressed when he left. Singing in church cheered me up, my lonely thoughts at home put me back down again.
I woke Monday morning in the worst mood imaginable. I woke up and felt so empty. The lonliness consumed my soul. I wanted to drive. I wanted to drive far, far away. I wanted to just pack 3-4 days worth of clothes and head out. I would have, if I had the gas money.
I started crying. I tried not to cry and managed to get myself to stop...then in the shower I couldn't control it. I sobbed for a good 10 minutes. I remember thinking to myself that I couldn't tell if the wetness on my face was from tears or water. I stopped before I got out, but when I walked into my room, the tears came again. I frantically thought of who I could call that would be up at 6:30 in the morning. I tried Josh, he was asleep. I knew Chris would be asleep, didn't want to wake her. Lara's cell phone wasn't working, so I didn't even try. I wanted to try some random person from church and thought of two people: Lisa and Amanda. I didn't think Amanda would appreciate an early phonecall from someone she barely knew the name of, so I text messaged Lisa. I found out that night that she wasn't exactly the happiest person that day either. "That's the last time I ask someone for help like this" I thought to myself.
I put in my new Killers cd and cranked it up loud on the way to school, wishing I was on my way out of town rather than to school. I calmed myself down walking into school. I gave my speech in speech class - I think I did well, I'll get my grade back tomorrow. I sat through biology and math, went home, did homework and ate lunch in a good mood. I went to english class at two, went home and finished mandatory reading for the quiz we're going to take on Wednesday in english. I finished my homework with time to spare, took the boys to church, and on my way to the Farney's, my bad mood started seeping back into my brain. The "study" that we did only frustrated me more, for reasons I won't go into now. I fumed to my beloved on my way home, bless his poor little heart.
I wish there was a fast-forward button, as if I'm a pre-recorded video tape. I can hit the fast-forward button and speed into the future, having gone through my "previous" experiences, I just didn't see them happpen.
When I listen to Mr. Brightside by the Killers, I get this knot feeling in my gut, I start feeling depressed, like there's no hope, like I have no choice but to sit and watch everything happen, everything's out of my control... This is the exact feeling I got on Monday morning and it's the feeling I get if I let my mind wander too far.
I suppose I'd better go. I've gotten myself into a funky mood and I need to sleep. I'll talk to you all later. Thanks for the comments. And Josh, you're so sweet!!!
Montag, September 12, 2005
Praise Him all you shining stars,
Praise the Lord in all the Earth.
Every creature near and far,
Praise the Lord!
Stormy winds and clouds of white,
Valleys clothed in splendor,
Burning sun and moonlit night,
Praise the Lord!
Heaven and all the universe
Proclaim Your power and Your worth.
Hallelujah!
Your love goes on forever!
God of life and Lord of love,
Who was and is and is to come,
Hallelujah!
Your love goes on forever!
All you creatures of the sea,
Children of the Savior,
Yearning hearts and oceans deep,
Praise the Lord!
For the mercy in His hands,
For the healing in His scars,
For the grace in His commands,
Praise the Lord!
For all You've done and Your infinite love
We lift our hearts to worship
For Your sweet grace we lift Your name
So let Your praise go on and on forever more
For the mercy in His hands,
For the healing in His scars,
For the grace in His commands,
Praise the Lord!
Thanks, Sonic Flood.
Delivering a speech Wednesday - that'll be nervewracking.
Praise the Lord in all the Earth.
Every creature near and far,
Praise the Lord!
Stormy winds and clouds of white,
Valleys clothed in splendor,
Burning sun and moonlit night,
Praise the Lord!
Heaven and all the universe
Proclaim Your power and Your worth.
Hallelujah!
Your love goes on forever!
God of life and Lord of love,
Who was and is and is to come,
Hallelujah!
Your love goes on forever!
All you creatures of the sea,
Children of the Savior,
Yearning hearts and oceans deep,
Praise the Lord!
For the mercy in His hands,
For the healing in His scars,
For the grace in His commands,
Praise the Lord!
For all You've done and Your infinite love
We lift our hearts to worship
For Your sweet grace we lift Your name
So let Your praise go on and on forever more
For the mercy in His hands,
For the healing in His scars,
For the grace in His commands,
Praise the Lord!
Thanks, Sonic Flood.
Delivering a speech Wednesday - that'll be nervewracking.
Mittwoch, September 07, 2005
Life in General
School has been going well. I still don't have topics for speech and english, but I'm working on that as fast as possible. I may do rabies for english, but I'm not sure yet. I wanted to do something more graphic, just because I like to gross people out (and it's easy to do in my "profession") but I can't think of any.
I miss Josh, but I'm planning on visiting him the weekend after next. Boy, do I miss him.
My family and I went to Oklahoma this weekend. We were going to go visit our unofficial sister church in Mississippi, but our hosts are helping at the local hospital and wouldn't know how often they'd be around (Katrina victims). So we went to visit Grandma instead. I had fun, at least as much as one can in rural Oklahoma. We went and tromped around on Mount Scott - that's always my high point of the trip.
Sorry this is so short. I have topics to pick, a speech outline to start, some brainstorming thing I have to do for english, a.k.a. homework. I have no friends (that want to do something with me anyways). I have no life. And I'm tired. Ich bin muede. Tschüss.
I miss Josh, but I'm planning on visiting him the weekend after next. Boy, do I miss him.
My family and I went to Oklahoma this weekend. We were going to go visit our unofficial sister church in Mississippi, but our hosts are helping at the local hospital and wouldn't know how often they'd be around (Katrina victims). So we went to visit Grandma instead. I had fun, at least as much as one can in rural Oklahoma. We went and tromped around on Mount Scott - that's always my high point of the trip.
Sorry this is so short. I have topics to pick, a speech outline to start, some brainstorming thing I have to do for english, a.k.a. homework. I have no friends (that want to do something with me anyways). I have no life. And I'm tired. Ich bin muede. Tschüss.
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