I left Bible study. I searched for a cat that wasn't to be found. I sat outside, alone, which is what I wanted. I realized that I am helpless. I cannot those I want to help, even myself. The only question that comes to mind is, why? Why did I have to be born to the family that I'm in? Why did my parents have to be stupid with their money when I was a child? Why haven't they been able to get out of the rut that they put themselves in? Why do I have to suffer the consequences of their mistakes both financially and emotionally? Why is it that you can't call a foreign country without costing the one you're calling? Why is it that when you need someone the most, no one comes? Why is it that when you want to be alone everyone comes to check on you? Why do mission trips cost so much? Why can't I afford to be with him in Germany? Why can't I help him even though I try? Why does Germany have to be seven hours ahead? Why do I take everything so seriously like a stupid girl? The only question left is, why does life have to be so hard?, but I'm glad it's hard because if it wasn't, life wouldn't be fun. It would be meaningless. Meaningless. Lifeless. Dead.
What do you do when the one who holds you isn't there to hold you when you need them to?
Abonnieren
Kommentare zum Post (Atom)
2 Kommentare:
To answer your last question: You say the same things you said in your blog to your Father in heaven, tell Him how much you are grateful for His work in your life, tell Him that even though you don't "see the pathway" that you'll trust Him anyway...
...and then try to follow through on that trust and experience His grace and peace.
It doesn't "solve" any of those problems, but you can experience peace amid storms.
Just a thought. Hope it helps.
I've tried that before - it never works.
Kommentar veröffentlichen