Our Half-Year Anniversary

First of all, i would like to ask of anyone who reads this to please, please, please not share this website with anyone without asking me permission first. This includes making a link to this site from your own. Put it in a favorites list on your computer or something, but please do not make a link to this site from your site. If you want to share this address, please contact me through the comments section or e-mail me. If you don't know my e-mail, ask for it in a comment or give me yours and i'll e-mail you.

Now i know that this is on the internet, but i would appreciate you keeping what is written here written here. Not spoken to anyone who was born of a woman (btw, that means everyone), hinted at or told through any sort of guessing game. By this i mean speak of it to no-one, even if they read my blog as well, because you never know who might be listening to you, even if it appears if you're alone. I might have to make a new blog and not tell you the address if i find out that you squealed. By requesting this address sent to you, you are sworn to an oath of secrecy, whether you like it or not. Now, having that said...

November 16 was Josh and I's 6 month anniversary (6th monthiversary), and we celebrated yesterday (November 22). We had planned for me to drive to his house and be there at 10, and i was going to bring Van Helsing and we would watch movies and hang out and eat and stuff. I woke yesterday morning at 8:15ish, with something warm yet cold in places...it felt like human arms. "Don't freak out" i told myself as my heart beat faster. It was behind me, so i turned my head to see and found my unbelievably gorgeous boyfried wrapped around me with the coldest hands. "Oh, it's just Josh. It's Josh?!?!? HOLY COW!!! Pinch yourself and make sure you aren't dreaming again!" It was really him, really here...i wasn't dreaming. In the midst of all the confusion, i realized that i should probably say something to him. I wanted to say something romantic or witty or something at least semi-coherant, but being overwhelmed by having one of your dreams coming true before your eyes and the shock of the surprise clouded my brain and all i managed to say was, "Hey! What're you doing here?" All he did was grin at me and say "Happy anniversary." I turned towards him and we snuggled and talked for a long time.

It turns out he'd been planning this for a week, consulting my brother about letting himself in and getting William not to screw it up and the like. He then proceeded to sneak into my room with a gift bag, slide under the covers, and wrap himself around me, all without waking me up. He said it went off without a hitch, so he was happy about that. I'm glad it all went according to plan. It only makes me love him that much more.

After a long while of a mixture of snuggling, kissing, and talking, we went out to eat. Josh took me to the Olive Garden, and we had a good lunch. A lady at the table next to us got sang at and a cake given to her because of her birthday, and all Josh did was grin at me. I told him that if he did, he died, but in actuality, i had no preference if he told the waiter it was my birthday or not. At first i was really aprehensive about Josh saying something, but then i realized that if Josh was going to do it, he was going to do it, and no amount of talking was going to get him to do otherwise. He and i were both stuffed from eating, so he decided that it would be futile for him to say anything if we weren't going to eat the cake.

After lunch, we went to Gameworks, and we played for three hours. It was great fun. We make a great team on the Crash-Taxi game! He he he. We went back to his house after GW, had dinner, and then he took me home.

I got a "stern talking-to" when i walked in the door. Mom was dissappointed in me because i reacted to my surprise the way i did, and didn't call to inform her of the "changed" plans. In my mind, there weren't really any plans, but if there were, they were subject to change without warning, like they always have been. She was fed lies by my brother, so that only fueled the intensity of dissappointment at first. I straightened her out somewhat this morning. We haven't really talked about it, and i'd really rather not have to, simply because it will make me have to tell her that she's wrong, and she doesn't take that very well. Ah well. I guess i'll cross that bridge when i get there.

There's a song that has been infecting my thinking recently. Here are the lyrics. Tell me what you think about them.
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Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead
Yesterday is a promise that you've broken
Don't close your eyes, don't close your eyes
This is your life
And today is all you've got now
And today is all you'll ever have
Don't close your eyes, don't close your eyes

This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, is it everything that you dreamed
that it would be when the world was younger,
and you had everything to lose?

Yesterday is a kid in the corner
Yesterday is dead and over.

This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, are you who you want to be?
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I think it makes me cry because i'm not who i want to be. My dreams are coming true before my eyes, but i am not who i thought i'd be when they happened. It's just made me think.

I need to do my college apps. this week. Haven't done that yet. Probably should. Pray for me.

Seanathan and i went Christmas shopping today and for my christmas present he got me the book Bringing Down the House by Ben Mezrich. No, the movie wasn't made after it. This is about six MIT students who learned how to beat Blackjack and took Vegas for millions. Great book. I'll let you borrow it sometime - all you have to do is ask. But yeah. Shopping was fun.

I'm going to go now, so i shall speak to you shmoes later.