the Goings On

Why is it that we have to be forced to do something that we're completely uninterested in? My English class was split into five groups on Tuesday and each group recieved a piece of paper with the name of a literary critiquing style on it. We have been told to give a presentation on Tuesday about five different aspects of our style. Since I had read the chapter that we were supposed to read before coming to class that day, I knew a little about each of the critiquing styles, what the look for, their viewpoint, and so on. The one that I completely disagreed with was the Marxism style and for time and your sanity's sake, I won't go on that rant. Anyway, Tuesday morning, our group representative has returned with our piece of paper. She unfolded the paper and laid it on the table. There it was, in big letters, MARXISM. Just my luck. Now I have to research some crap on Marxism and give some stupid presentation on what I found along with my group. I am really not enjoying this class and if it weren't for the fact that I need 12 hours of class to stay on insurance, I would drop it. I love the teacher, but I'm really hating the class. I DON'T WANT TO BE A FREAKING LITERARY CRITIC!!! There. I got it out.

I found out the other day that Josh's 10-week study abroad trip to Germany will cost about $6,000. My dreams of going to Germany in summers are crushed.

I don't think I have ever been so lonely in my life. You never realize how lonely your own house is until your family isn't there anymore. I have housesat for longer than this and I never got lonely like this. I guess it's different when it's your own house.

I have to go to work today and I don't want to.

I'm very tired and I don't feel good. I haven't been able to sleep well recently. I've also been having dizzy spells. Those little buggers are scary.

I read the entirety of Ecclesiastes. That book is depressing. There is no hope. I was told that it was a great book because when taken out of context, it was depressing as if there was no hope, but that the truth was revealed that God is all you need; He is your hope. I haven't really found this to be true. On occasion Solomon (the author of the book) does mention that God can save us from this wretched place, but the book itself can be summed up in only a few sentances: Don't be too wise, don't be too foolish. Everything under the sun is meaningless. Death is better than life, and having not been born is better than all. Where is the hope in that?

I think I'll go take a nap before I go to work. Maybe I'll get a little relief from my tiredhead and frustrations.