They all fall like a million raindrops
Falling from a blue sky
Kissing your cares goodbye
Oh, as they all fall like a million pieces
A tickertape parade high
Now you're free to fly
Carrying a millstone malaise
It's been pulling down your gaze
You pound the pavement
It don't give or care
This weight ain't yours to bear
Why you holding grudges in old jars?
Why you wanna show off all your scars?
What's it gonna take to lay your burdens down?
It's a beautiful sound...
And they all fall like a million raindrops
Falling from a blue sky
Kissing your cares goodbye
Oh and they all fall like a million pieces
A tickertape parade high
Now you're free to fly
When that muffled sigh
Says you're barely getting by
Cut your burdens loose
And just simplify. Simplify!
This is not your floor
You're going higher than before
Drop the weight now wait for the lookout guide
Look outside...
As they all fall like a million raindrops
Falling from a blue sky
Kissing your cares goodbye
Oh, as they all fall like a million pieces
A tickertape parade high
Now you're free to fly
You gotta lay that burden down
You gotta lay that burden down
It's time to leave your burdens in a pile
Set a bonfire
'Cause when you lay your burdens down
When you drop them burdens
What a free-fall
What a thrill
Bury them all in a landfill
They all fall like a million raindrops
Falling from a blue sky
Kissing your cares goodbye
Oh, oh, they all fall like a million pieces
A tickertape parade high
Now you're free to fly
Million Pieces by Newsboys
Sometimes, you just gotta let 'em go...
Isn't it nice to be in His hands?
Montag, Januar 30, 2006
Sonntag, Januar 29, 2006
In Response
A response to the comments on my last post:
I thought about going for a double major, but in order for someone to do that the subjects that they want to major in have to be at the same school. Vet tech is in Lancaster, TX at Cedar Valley College, German teacher would most likely be in Denton, TX at UNT. I don't think I can attend two schools at once and there isn't enough time for me to go to one, then the other.
The months have been entered in German from Austria. There were other options, such as Germany from Germany or Switzerland, but I opted for Austrian German just to be different. I'll change it.
I said something stupid again and I'm really hoping I didn't cause any damage. We'll see how it plays out.
My wireless internet has been down the past couple of days and it's really starting to annoy me. Obviously, I'm on a land line at the moment, but I hope to fix the problem. I think I know what the problem might be, but I don't know where my parents keep the internet information and I can't ask them because they're in Haiti.
Speaking of which, off I go to attempt to fix the internet again. Tschüss!
I thought about going for a double major, but in order for someone to do that the subjects that they want to major in have to be at the same school. Vet tech is in Lancaster, TX at Cedar Valley College, German teacher would most likely be in Denton, TX at UNT. I don't think I can attend two schools at once and there isn't enough time for me to go to one, then the other.
The months have been entered in German from Austria. There were other options, such as Germany from Germany or Switzerland, but I opted for Austrian German just to be different. I'll change it.
I said something stupid again and I'm really hoping I didn't cause any damage. We'll see how it plays out.
My wireless internet has been down the past couple of days and it's really starting to annoy me. Obviously, I'm on a land line at the moment, but I hope to fix the problem. I think I know what the problem might be, but I don't know where my parents keep the internet information and I can't ask them because they're in Haiti.
Speaking of which, off I go to attempt to fix the internet again. Tschüss!
Mittwoch, Januar 25, 2006
For Now
Wow, so many great comments on the last entry. Thank you all so much for your insight!
For now the plans are these: I will go to school for vet tech and during the summer, I will do study abroad or be a foreign exchange student all summer. That way, I'll get the best of three worlds; I'll have a "sturdy career" that I know I will enjoy, I get to learn German, and I get to learn it from a native tongue and don't use those incredibly formal phrases taught in America. I had noticed (from feedback from friends, of course) that native German or Austrian teachers did a much better job of teaching than the American raised, took classes in college teachers. Granted, I am American raised, but I'll have minor exposure in the summer, enough to get some of the language down, and maybe when I'm done with vet school I can live there for a year or maybe even take a break from vet stuff and live there for a year.
Truth is, given the opportunity, I'd get my basics done and just haul off to Germany and live there for a year and work on language. I wouldn't go to vet school when I got home, but I'd keep my job at the animal hospital. If I moved, I'd find another clinic to work at.
The only problem with following my passion, Mrs. B, is that I don't know if I would enjoy the job of teaching. That's my only concern with going that route. I know my parents wouldn't let/want me to get a degree in German and "do nothing with it" and continue working at the vet clinic. That is what I want to do, but I don't think that's what will happen - things never work out the way I want them to. I don't know what else I would do with a German degree other than teach. I don't think I could work as a translator around here. I really don't know what else I could do with it other than to teach.
I'm thinking and praying about it. I figure it's a good way to get my prayer life back on track, or existing, for that matter. As always, it's a decision between what I want and what others want for me, what's fun and what's good for me. *shrug* It's nothing I can't handle, otherwise God wouldn't have given it to me.
Thank you all for your comments and advice. Oh, Chris, I'd be teaching the little ones the two languages at once. :) Tschüss!
For now the plans are these: I will go to school for vet tech and during the summer, I will do study abroad or be a foreign exchange student all summer. That way, I'll get the best of three worlds; I'll have a "sturdy career" that I know I will enjoy, I get to learn German, and I get to learn it from a native tongue and don't use those incredibly formal phrases taught in America. I had noticed (from feedback from friends, of course) that native German or Austrian teachers did a much better job of teaching than the American raised, took classes in college teachers. Granted, I am American raised, but I'll have minor exposure in the summer, enough to get some of the language down, and maybe when I'm done with vet school I can live there for a year or maybe even take a break from vet stuff and live there for a year.
Truth is, given the opportunity, I'd get my basics done and just haul off to Germany and live there for a year and work on language. I wouldn't go to vet school when I got home, but I'd keep my job at the animal hospital. If I moved, I'd find another clinic to work at.
The only problem with following my passion, Mrs. B, is that I don't know if I would enjoy the job of teaching. That's my only concern with going that route. I know my parents wouldn't let/want me to get a degree in German and "do nothing with it" and continue working at the vet clinic. That is what I want to do, but I don't think that's what will happen - things never work out the way I want them to. I don't know what else I would do with a German degree other than teach. I don't think I could work as a translator around here. I really don't know what else I could do with it other than to teach.
I'm thinking and praying about it. I figure it's a good way to get my prayer life back on track, or existing, for that matter. As always, it's a decision between what I want and what others want for me, what's fun and what's good for me. *shrug* It's nothing I can't handle, otherwise God wouldn't have given it to me.
Thank you all for your comments and advice. Oh, Chris, I'd be teaching the little ones the two languages at once. :) Tschüss!
Sonntag, Januar 22, 2006
Cannot Decide
Teacher or Vet Tech? This has been a question that has been turning the gears of my mind since school started this year. There are, as is for everything, pros and cons to both, but I cannot decide which would be the best for me in the end.
If I went to school to be a Vet Tech, I would go through school to learn to do something that I enjoy doing and have fun with. I know I can do this job and I know I won't get bored with it because it's a job that uses brainpower and it's not a dead-end job; nothing becomes mundane. I would get reasonable pay (assuming I can find the practice that does so) and I could easily quit when I start having children. I would only need 5 hours per year in order to stay registered and that could be arranged with the local practice. Of course there would be the conferences that I would need to attend to stay informed on the latest medicines and practices and such, but nothing too terribly time consuming.
On the other hand, going to school and majoring in German and minoring in education (and/or English) and teaching German would mean that I had a job that had something to do with one of my passions. I believe that I have a passion about the German language, at least learning it, but I don't know if I could teach it. I say that to people and their response is always the same, "You'll take classes that teach you how to teach." It sounds odd, but it's true; I will take classes that do such things. But just because I take classes on how to teach doesn't mean that I would be a good teacher. If I taught, I would want to be the teacher that makes class fun and interesting; my students would learn through doing and hopefully enjoy the class overall. I'd want to be like Mrs. Souder is to me; fun, engaging, challenging, and encouraging. I don't know if I could be the teacher that I want to be; besides, I talk too much. I'm not sure about the pay; a friend who is a teacher tells me that it depends on the school district. I do not know how easy it would be to quit to have children; I suppose that depends on the district, too. The registration for teachers lasts for 5 years; at the end of which, if you haven't taken a certain number of hours in a continuing education type thing, you have to retake a test to become registered again. I'd have to take a language class before I decided to be a teacher, anyway. I've never been to one and I think I'd need to know how it works.
Ever since I learned that my Great Grandmother came to America from Germany and that my Grandmother, who is full-blooded German, does not speak a word of German, I have been fascinated with the German language and culture, wanting to learn as much about it as possible. I have even toyed with the idea of being a missionary in Germany. They are a dark country and they need the light of God. I want to be a foreign exchange/study abroad student there, live there for a while, to see for myself the details of the language and life there and the culture. There's only so much one can learn from a classroom, you know? I have, for a very long time, wanted to be bilingual and wanted to teach my children a foreign language before they learn English so that the family can speak the foreign language to each other, but know English so that we can function in America. What better way to learn the language than to live in the country and learn it from the natives? Who knows, I may discover that Germany is not as cool as I think it is and decide that I really don't want to be a part of it?
I'm trying to be careful in choosing which way I go. My parents (Mom) say that I should go into the Vet Tech field since I've always wanted to be a doctor and that I seemed to be so passionate about the field not too long ago. It's true, I was, but I hadn't yet learned that my passion for German was attainable. Both careers are equally accessible, both I can quit to have children relatively easily, both involve things that I love. Neither are real concrete on pay, since pay depends on the location of the job. One I am certain to enjoy, the other is not known. One I know I can do, the other is unsure. Do I follow my heart or my brain? Do I pursue what I want or do what I know would be profitable? I want my decision to be my own, not my parents', not my friends'. I don't want others to decide for me, I want to make an informed decision. I suppose I could head for what I want and if I don't like it I can go the other way. I don't know what to do. Any ideas or advice would me much appreciated and very welcome. Have a great night, all.
-End of Transmission-
If I went to school to be a Vet Tech, I would go through school to learn to do something that I enjoy doing and have fun with. I know I can do this job and I know I won't get bored with it because it's a job that uses brainpower and it's not a dead-end job; nothing becomes mundane. I would get reasonable pay (assuming I can find the practice that does so) and I could easily quit when I start having children. I would only need 5 hours per year in order to stay registered and that could be arranged with the local practice. Of course there would be the conferences that I would need to attend to stay informed on the latest medicines and practices and such, but nothing too terribly time consuming.
On the other hand, going to school and majoring in German and minoring in education (and/or English) and teaching German would mean that I had a job that had something to do with one of my passions. I believe that I have a passion about the German language, at least learning it, but I don't know if I could teach it. I say that to people and their response is always the same, "You'll take classes that teach you how to teach." It sounds odd, but it's true; I will take classes that do such things. But just because I take classes on how to teach doesn't mean that I would be a good teacher. If I taught, I would want to be the teacher that makes class fun and interesting; my students would learn through doing and hopefully enjoy the class overall. I'd want to be like Mrs. Souder is to me; fun, engaging, challenging, and encouraging. I don't know if I could be the teacher that I want to be; besides, I talk too much. I'm not sure about the pay; a friend who is a teacher tells me that it depends on the school district. I do not know how easy it would be to quit to have children; I suppose that depends on the district, too. The registration for teachers lasts for 5 years; at the end of which, if you haven't taken a certain number of hours in a continuing education type thing, you have to retake a test to become registered again. I'd have to take a language class before I decided to be a teacher, anyway. I've never been to one and I think I'd need to know how it works.
Ever since I learned that my Great Grandmother came to America from Germany and that my Grandmother, who is full-blooded German, does not speak a word of German, I have been fascinated with the German language and culture, wanting to learn as much about it as possible. I have even toyed with the idea of being a missionary in Germany. They are a dark country and they need the light of God. I want to be a foreign exchange/study abroad student there, live there for a while, to see for myself the details of the language and life there and the culture. There's only so much one can learn from a classroom, you know? I have, for a very long time, wanted to be bilingual and wanted to teach my children a foreign language before they learn English so that the family can speak the foreign language to each other, but know English so that we can function in America. What better way to learn the language than to live in the country and learn it from the natives? Who knows, I may discover that Germany is not as cool as I think it is and decide that I really don't want to be a part of it?
I'm trying to be careful in choosing which way I go. My parents (Mom) say that I should go into the Vet Tech field since I've always wanted to be a doctor and that I seemed to be so passionate about the field not too long ago. It's true, I was, but I hadn't yet learned that my passion for German was attainable. Both careers are equally accessible, both I can quit to have children relatively easily, both involve things that I love. Neither are real concrete on pay, since pay depends on the location of the job. One I am certain to enjoy, the other is not known. One I know I can do, the other is unsure. Do I follow my heart or my brain? Do I pursue what I want or do what I know would be profitable? I want my decision to be my own, not my parents', not my friends'. I don't want others to decide for me, I want to make an informed decision. I suppose I could head for what I want and if I don't like it I can go the other way. I don't know what to do. Any ideas or advice would me much appreciated and very welcome. Have a great night, all.
-End of Transmission-
Freitag, Januar 20, 2006
Woot, Woot!
Hey there all you guys and girls out there! I am in a fantastic mood. I went to school this morning, came home for lunch, went back to school for my last class, and came home again. I got home in a great mood, I washed my car, I dusted and vacuumed inside, I raked the yard and cleaned the kitchen. John cleaned the bathroom, he swept in the living room, dining room and kitchen, and cleaned the kitchen counters and the dining room table. William raked a little bit and we're working on getting him to finish his second load of dishes. In other words, we worked our butts off today and now the house (and my car) is that much cleaner! Woohoo!
I'm really excited about school this semester, too. Here's my schedule:
Monday, Wednesday, Friday
9-10 am: Human Sexuality (psych class)
10-11 am: Beginning Algebra
1-2 pm: Music Appreciation
Tuesday, Thursday
8-9 am: Literature and Composition
I have a couple really cool classes and I'm so pumped about them! I have to go - my parents got home and it's dinner time! Mmmmmm...pizza.....
I'm really excited about school this semester, too. Here's my schedule:
Monday, Wednesday, Friday
9-10 am: Human Sexuality (psych class)
10-11 am: Beginning Algebra
1-2 pm: Music Appreciation
Tuesday, Thursday
8-9 am: Literature and Composition
I have a couple really cool classes and I'm so pumped about them! I have to go - my parents got home and it's dinner time! Mmmmmm...pizza.....
Samstag, Januar 07, 2006
Problems
Problems are interesting in that they happen in many different forms to each individual alive. Some problems seem impossible at the time, but really time makes the difference because the answer has to be learned, much like a baby learning to use his hands and fingers. Some problems have an easy answer and may or may not be easy to find, depending on the location of the answer, such as why the toaster doesn't toast anymore when the plug isn't in the electrical socket. Others are problems with varying complexities but all have simple solutions. The catch is that the answers to these problems are virtually unattainable. Schemes can be devised to fix the problem, but each one falls short in some manner. It is these types of problems that can last a lifetime. A lot of these problems are self-inflicted; a single mistake can make one, but oftentimes the mistake isn't known until it's too late to fix the problem. Such problems are the ones riddling my life at the moment. Actually, it is one specific problem that I am sure will haunt me all the days of my life. It is not necessarily something that I did wrong in order to assume this problem, for the responsibility was bound to come someday. I'd like not to have to, but I blame it on poor parenting, in the literal sense. The question is cliche, yes, but I can't help but ask, "Why me?"
No money.
No best friend.
No education.
No trust.
No compassion.
No help.
No support.
No encouragement.
No strength.
I like to think I'm a very capable woman, with the world at my feet. In a way, I am. In the other, I am nothing but a peasant, scrounging for food; settling for dumpster juice.
I am alone in this, it seems. The only friend I thought could empathize has grown away from me. I have no female support, no guidance. I cannot look to the one closest to me except for how not to do things. I cannot trust those far away from me. The friends I once had are now becoming people I despise. There is no one person who has always been there, throughout my entire life, to which I can turn. There is one who will always be with me, or at least I hope. Once again, I feel alone.
I was in such a fantastic mood today. I looked beautiful, but more importantly I felt beautiful (if you're a girl, you know what I mean). I had a wonderful day with Josh, full of all sorts of excitement and surprises. Lunch, armadillos, ice skating, Fun with Dick and Jane (you don't want a movie review from me on this one), dinner, great company, and love. All of a sudden it came crashing down. My once-in-a-blue-moon great mood was slashed and annihilated by reality. Cloud 9 stopped floating; this version of hell I call my life came back into my eyes, bringing nothing but pain, helplessness, and tears with it. I don't know what to do, I don't know where to go, I don't know who to turn to. Until I figure out what to do, my life as I know it will be drowned in tears.
Tschüss.
No money.
No best friend.
No education.
No trust.
No compassion.
No help.
No support.
No encouragement.
No strength.
I like to think I'm a very capable woman, with the world at my feet. In a way, I am. In the other, I am nothing but a peasant, scrounging for food; settling for dumpster juice.
I am alone in this, it seems. The only friend I thought could empathize has grown away from me. I have no female support, no guidance. I cannot look to the one closest to me except for how not to do things. I cannot trust those far away from me. The friends I once had are now becoming people I despise. There is no one person who has always been there, throughout my entire life, to which I can turn. There is one who will always be with me, or at least I hope. Once again, I feel alone.
I was in such a fantastic mood today. I looked beautiful, but more importantly I felt beautiful (if you're a girl, you know what I mean). I had a wonderful day with Josh, full of all sorts of excitement and surprises. Lunch, armadillos, ice skating, Fun with Dick and Jane (you don't want a movie review from me on this one), dinner, great company, and love. All of a sudden it came crashing down. My once-in-a-blue-moon great mood was slashed and annihilated by reality. Cloud 9 stopped floating; this version of hell I call my life came back into my eyes, bringing nothing but pain, helplessness, and tears with it. I don't know what to do, I don't know where to go, I don't know who to turn to. Until I figure out what to do, my life as I know it will be drowned in tears.
Tschüss.
Donnerstag, Januar 05, 2006
*throws horns up*
NATIONAL CHAMPIONS! WE DID IT!!! We won the title of national champions at the Rose Bowl tonight. We had a perfect season - completely undefeated! Woohoo! GO LONGHORNS!!!
Dienstag, Januar 03, 2006
Long Time, No Speak
Boy, it's been a while. Sorry it's been so long. With all the fuss of the holidays and such, I haven't had much time to post.
My holidays were wonderful this year. Josh loves his blanket (I haven't finished the pillowcase yet), my family loved their presents, Josh and I had a great time when we were with both of our families. I've gotten to spend a lot of time with Josh; it's been really great to see him and have him only 20 minutes away again. I'm anxious for school to start again...not looking forward to it.
I found out my grades for last semester, and they were exactly as I predicted. A in English, A in Speech, B in Math (pre-algebra), and D in Biology. I'm going to retake Biology next semester. I'm also going to take English 2 and beginning algebra, the next level of developmental math (it's required). I have to take 12 hours; and I don't know what other classes to take. I'll probably take a history class since I have to. When I register, I'll see how many hours that will be and if I have to take another class, it'll probably be either economics or government. We'll see.
I've seen some new movies, some of which I like, and some of which I don't. One that I'm going to buy as soon as it comes out on DVD in Memoirs of a Geisha. I haven't cried at a movie in a long time. I thought that movie was fantastic. I really, really, want that movie. It was so great. I loved it, anyway.
Well, I'm tired, so I'm going to go to bed now. I'll talk to you shmoes later. Hope your holidays were great! Tschüss!
My holidays were wonderful this year. Josh loves his blanket (I haven't finished the pillowcase yet), my family loved their presents, Josh and I had a great time when we were with both of our families. I've gotten to spend a lot of time with Josh; it's been really great to see him and have him only 20 minutes away again. I'm anxious for school to start again...not looking forward to it.
I found out my grades for last semester, and they were exactly as I predicted. A in English, A in Speech, B in Math (pre-algebra), and D in Biology. I'm going to retake Biology next semester. I'm also going to take English 2 and beginning algebra, the next level of developmental math (it's required). I have to take 12 hours; and I don't know what other classes to take. I'll probably take a history class since I have to. When I register, I'll see how many hours that will be and if I have to take another class, it'll probably be either economics or government. We'll see.
I've seen some new movies, some of which I like, and some of which I don't. One that I'm going to buy as soon as it comes out on DVD in Memoirs of a Geisha. I haven't cried at a movie in a long time. I thought that movie was fantastic. I really, really, want that movie. It was so great. I loved it, anyway.
Well, I'm tired, so I'm going to go to bed now. I'll talk to you shmoes later. Hope your holidays were great! Tschüss!
Montag, Dezember 19, 2005
I Have To Tell the World
Last Tuesday, I woke up at 5 am to work on the final details of my research paper due in English the following day. I went to work at 8:30 am and didn't get home until about 8:30 or 9. I immediately went to work to finish the paper, finished by 11:30, then I went to work on my portfolio that was worth 400 points, half of my grade in English. I finished my portfolio at about 6:45 am, then I got dressed and ate so that I could leave the house on time. I took a nap at 3 o'clock that afternoon after having stayed awake for 34 hours; my first all nighter.
It payed off, too. I e-mailed my teacher to ask how we were going to know our grades for the class. Here's the response I recieved: "“A” on the wonderful portfolio and an “A” for the class (only because I’m very sure they don’t let me give any higher!) :)
Have a MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Love,
Donna"
That means that I got the highest grade possible!!! I just opened it and was crying because I was so happy! I can't believe it!
It payed off, too. I e-mailed my teacher to ask how we were going to know our grades for the class. Here's the response I recieved: "“A” on the wonderful portfolio and an “A” for the class (only because I’m very sure they don’t let me give any higher!) :)
Have a MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Love,
Donna"
That means that I got the highest grade possible!!! I just opened it and was crying because I was so happy! I can't believe it!
Donnerstag, Dezember 15, 2005
Freedom
I'M DONE WITH MY FIRST SEMESTER OF COLLEGE!!! I have yet to find out my final grades, but I'll post them on here when I find out. I'm just so happy to be done!
Tschüss!
Tschüss!
Sonntag, Dezember 04, 2005
Current emotion: *runs around room screaming and ripping hair from head by the handfull*
I am so emotional right now.
I am stressed.
I am confused.
I am hurting.
I am ashamed.
I am exhausted.
I'm thinking way more than I'm supposed to be.
I want things to happen and am not patient.
I know what I want to do with my life, but I don't know what to do with the present.
I just want to sit here and cry.
I want relief.
I am stressed.
I am confused.
I am hurting.
I am ashamed.
I am exhausted.
I'm thinking way more than I'm supposed to be.
I want things to happen and am not patient.
I know what I want to do with my life, but I don't know what to do with the present.
I just want to sit here and cry.
I want relief.
The Conclusion Is...
Upon reading past blogs I have come to this conclusion:
I suck as a human being.
Yeah, you heard me. I suck as a human being. 'Nuff said.
Mittwoch, November 30, 2005
Interesting Idea
I recieved this in an e-mail today. A kid in Arizona wrote it, according to the e-mail. Speaking of Arizona, I miss my girls.
Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule
For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.
If Scripture now the class recites,
If Scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a Federal matter now.
Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
That's no offense; it's a freedom scene.
The law is specific, the law is precise.
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.
For praying in a public hall
For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all.
In silence alone we must meditate,
God's name is prohibited by the state.
We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks.
They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.
We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King.
It's "inappropriate" to teach right from wrong,
We're taught that such "judgments" do not belong.
We can get our condoms and birth controls,
We can get our condoms and birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
No word of God must reach this crowd.
It's scary here I must confess,
It's scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school's a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot; My soul please take!
Amen
An interesting idea, I thought. He brings up an interesting point: Everything is allowed except Christianity. If you're Buddhist, that's fine. If you don't believe in a god and want to dress in black and put doom on the world, that's ok. But if you mention the name of God, you have spoken blashphemy and doom on you because you may have offended someone. They do not care if the Christians get offended by things that other people do, but we can't offend any of them. I'm not saying that we should offend anyone, I'm just pointing out the restrictions that the world puts on Christians. What do you think?
Montag, November 28, 2005
"Updayte"
It always cracks me up when people can't spell. This morning, my math teacher was teaching us the Pythagorean Theorem and he was saying that a and b can be switched around, but not c because c is always the "hypotheneuse." I feel sorry for all the students in that class that will recieve spelling errors on their math homework. I find spelling so easy, it's difficult for me to understand how people can't spell.
My birthday was fun; the scavenger hunt went well - my team won with 599 points, thank you, Josh. I had a pretty good thanksgiving. I spent the first half of the day with my boyfriend and his family, then he and I drove up to Oklahoma where my family was. We spent the night there and headed back Friday afternoon. Friday morning my family took Josh to see the Holy City and to tromp around on Mount Scott. He had a blast tromping around and getting to meet my family.
On the way home (I was driving) I was becoming increasingly sensitive to light - a car's headlights would cause intense pain in my eyes. Before long, they just hurt because they could, they didn't have to be hit with light first. It hurt so bad that I was almost in tears. The only thing that hurt worse was when the lymph node in my neck swelled up so big that I couldn't move my head, but that's another story. My eye was as red as a crayon and was very swollen. I was so sensitive to light the next morning that I got a headache just from walking around the house even though the blinds were closed. I went to work anyway, but they sent me home after 15 minutes. Thank God for Elizabeth - she covered my shifts. Josh took me to an urgent care facility and after having some tests done, some quite embarrassing, the doctor discovered that I had two ulcers on my right eye. He said they'd be gone by Monday, and he gave me some antibiotic drops and some pain medicine.
The pain medicine made me very dizzy, so I've stopped taking it. My vision was cloudy yesterday, but it's mostly cleared up now. As soon as my vision is clear again, I'm going to put in my contact and see how it looks (no pun intended). My eye still hurts every so often or when I poke it, but other than that it's fine. I can't wait to have my eye normal again.
Finals are coming up soon - I'm getting nervous about them. I have a semi-huge (that sounds odd) assignment due on Wednesday that I have to get done tonight because I work from 9 to 8 tomorrow, so I'm stressing about that. I figured I'd relax a little before I stress out too badly. I'll talk to you all later. Sorry I haven't updated sooner. Tschüss.
My birthday was fun; the scavenger hunt went well - my team won with 599 points, thank you, Josh. I had a pretty good thanksgiving. I spent the first half of the day with my boyfriend and his family, then he and I drove up to Oklahoma where my family was. We spent the night there and headed back Friday afternoon. Friday morning my family took Josh to see the Holy City and to tromp around on Mount Scott. He had a blast tromping around and getting to meet my family.
On the way home (I was driving) I was becoming increasingly sensitive to light - a car's headlights would cause intense pain in my eyes. Before long, they just hurt because they could, they didn't have to be hit with light first. It hurt so bad that I was almost in tears. The only thing that hurt worse was when the lymph node in my neck swelled up so big that I couldn't move my head, but that's another story. My eye was as red as a crayon and was very swollen. I was so sensitive to light the next morning that I got a headache just from walking around the house even though the blinds were closed. I went to work anyway, but they sent me home after 15 minutes. Thank God for Elizabeth - she covered my shifts. Josh took me to an urgent care facility and after having some tests done, some quite embarrassing, the doctor discovered that I had two ulcers on my right eye. He said they'd be gone by Monday, and he gave me some antibiotic drops and some pain medicine.
The pain medicine made me very dizzy, so I've stopped taking it. My vision was cloudy yesterday, but it's mostly cleared up now. As soon as my vision is clear again, I'm going to put in my contact and see how it looks (no pun intended). My eye still hurts every so often or when I poke it, but other than that it's fine. I can't wait to have my eye normal again.
Finals are coming up soon - I'm getting nervous about them. I have a semi-huge (that sounds odd) assignment due on Wednesday that I have to get done tonight because I work from 9 to 8 tomorrow, so I'm stressing about that. I figured I'd relax a little before I stress out too badly. I'll talk to you all later. Sorry I haven't updated sooner. Tschüss.
Freitag, November 18, 2005
Tomorrow
MY BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW!!! I'll be 19, my last teenage birthday. I'm so pumped about it! Josh is coming home for the weekend - I can't wait to see him! Gotta go - got a lot of stuff to do before tonight. Tschüss.
Dienstag, November 15, 2005
Breakdown
I am this close *holds up thumb and forefinger* to having an emotional breakdown. My emotions ran haywire tonight after Bible study. I was a mixture of all sorts of bad feelings, anger, sadness, pining, things of that nature. All I wanted to do was drive very fast for a long time, blaring rock music as loud as I could stand it. I was in a good mood when I arrived at Bible study, but my mood was changed somehow. I think it's partly because my friend is going through some similar problems to what I've been going through recently and I wish that upon no one - I'm worried about her. I talked about those things that were stressing me in prayer group and that brought my mood down. I don't have anyone to turn to - I don't have a girl friend. When it was suggested to me two weeks ago that I should spend more time with the Lord, my thought was, "That never works." Josh isn't here in Flower Mound where I can get a hug and a loving arm around me as I cry on his shoulder. Basically, I have no one to turn to, and that's been getting to me. Other things with school, family, living conditions, and so forth have been bothering me. Lately, the stresses of getting my party ready, getting my room clean, getting my homework done, studying for tests that I have to take after my big weekend, and moving into the house that I'm house-sitting have been stressing me out, mainly because they have to be done before the week's close. I want to be able to relax this weekend and take time for me. I know it won't happen. I've also been worrying about getting Josh's blanket and pillowcase done on top of making sure my homework gets done. I'm also thinking about Christmas presents for my friends - that will take money that I don't have, but I can't not give them something. Anne mentioned something tonight that I hadn't thought of...I could transfer to UT when I can afford it - but if all goes according to plan, that wouldn't be feasible...or would it? I'm tired and have homework. Why is it that I have to be the most unattractive human being I know? *puke*
Sonntag, November 13, 2005
6 Days
Only six more days until my 19th birthday!!! I'm so excited! It's my last teenage birthday, so I'm making it special. I'm having a (relatively) huge party and we're going to have a scavenger hunt and watch movies and have cake and icecream and all sorts of fun things like that. It's going to be a blast! Josh and I are going to Glamour Shots on the 20th to get pictures taken together for both our 18-month dating anniversary and my birthday. That's going to be equally as enjoyable. I'm so pumped about this weekend!
I'm really cooking with gas on Josh's blanket (not literally). It's really coming along. I can't wait to see it when it's finished!
I have speech to study for, so I've got to run. Just thought I'd write while it was on my mind. Tschüss!
I'm really cooking with gas on Josh's blanket (not literally). It's really coming along. I can't wait to see it when it's finished!
I have speech to study for, so I've got to run. Just thought I'd write while it was on my mind. Tschüss!
Dienstag, November 08, 2005
Read At Your Own Risk
Were they made to burst my bubbles or do I just set the bar for myself too high?
Why do I even try? There seems to be no point.
I only want simple things, so why do they have to be so complicated?
Life is full of surprises - I never thought my parents were one of them.
The things I want I cannot have. The things I have I cannot want.
UT, I love you. You will never be a part of my life. For that, I mourn deeply.
My heart is shattered. They're supposed to support me and encourage me and all they do is bring me down.
Why is it that the source of all my problems is either money or the people I was born to?
I wish I could start over, hit the reboot button.
I have the one who is more than I could ever ask for - you're all I have to live for.
I am being forced to go to school.
I'm being forced to give up.
I'm being forced to hate.
I'm being forced to give up my dreams. I will never give up my ultimate dream - they will not take it away, no matter how hard they try. I will not give it to them. They can take away the rest of my life, but they cannot take my dream from me.
I am cold.
I am alone.
I need peace.
I need help.
For now, I cry myself to sleep, helpless and alone.
Why do I even try? There seems to be no point.
I only want simple things, so why do they have to be so complicated?
Life is full of surprises - I never thought my parents were one of them.
The things I want I cannot have. The things I have I cannot want.
UT, I love you. You will never be a part of my life. For that, I mourn deeply.
My heart is shattered. They're supposed to support me and encourage me and all they do is bring me down.
Why is it that the source of all my problems is either money or the people I was born to?
I wish I could start over, hit the reboot button.
I have the one who is more than I could ever ask for - you're all I have to live for.
I am being forced to go to school.
I'm being forced to give up.
I'm being forced to hate.
I'm being forced to give up my dreams. I will never give up my ultimate dream - they will not take it away, no matter how hard they try. I will not give it to them. They can take away the rest of my life, but they cannot take my dream from me.
I am cold.
I am alone.
I need peace.
I need help.
For now, I cry myself to sleep, helpless and alone.
"Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die."
A quote that I've heard before but was used tonight at Bible study. I've always liked that quote.
I'm having issues - trust issues, knowledge issues, it's really a mix between a lot of issues. I'm going to go see a friend about it on Thursday.
Josh's blanket is coming along nicely - after having tried twice before. *shrug* Third time's a charm, right?
I'm getting a pretty good return on my guest list. I haven't yet created the scavenger hunt, but that will come in time. I can't wait for my birthday this year. I don't know why, but I'm really excited about it, moreso than I was last year and last year was a "huge turning point."
Lucas is a really cool guy. He's a good friend and an honest, God-fearing man. I've really enjoyed getting to know him over this school semester.
Jamie missed school today. I hope she gets better soon. I don't have the heart to tell her that she missed the quiz.
Being sick isn't healthy.
I frequent the act of striving to achieve something and then talking myself out of it, blaming it on parents, friends, family, anything I really can and then regretting it later. This time I'm not going to give up on myself. I'm going to strive for what I want with all my might and if I don't get it, at least I know I tried.
I found out that only one of my class's credits won't transfer. That's good news. Maybe my English grade will cover up for Biology.
Instead of only working next semester I may be taking one class. I don't think I could stand not being taught by Mrs. Souder. She's the most amazing teacher. She has influenced me and inspired me in ways that she will never know. I owe her my deepest gratitude. Even though you will never read this, props to you, Mrs. Souder. You have inspired me, encouraged me, and showed me how to make my works my own. I thank you from the deepest regions of my heart.
I'm having issues - trust issues, knowledge issues, it's really a mix between a lot of issues. I'm going to go see a friend about it on Thursday.
Josh's blanket is coming along nicely - after having tried twice before. *shrug* Third time's a charm, right?
I'm getting a pretty good return on my guest list. I haven't yet created the scavenger hunt, but that will come in time. I can't wait for my birthday this year. I don't know why, but I'm really excited about it, moreso than I was last year and last year was a "huge turning point."
Lucas is a really cool guy. He's a good friend and an honest, God-fearing man. I've really enjoyed getting to know him over this school semester.
Jamie missed school today. I hope she gets better soon. I don't have the heart to tell her that she missed the quiz.
Being sick isn't healthy.
I frequent the act of striving to achieve something and then talking myself out of it, blaming it on parents, friends, family, anything I really can and then regretting it later. This time I'm not going to give up on myself. I'm going to strive for what I want with all my might and if I don't get it, at least I know I tried.
I found out that only one of my class's credits won't transfer. That's good news. Maybe my English grade will cover up for Biology.
Instead of only working next semester I may be taking one class. I don't think I could stand not being taught by Mrs. Souder. She's the most amazing teacher. She has influenced me and inspired me in ways that she will never know. I owe her my deepest gratitude. Even though you will never read this, props to you, Mrs. Souder. You have inspired me, encouraged me, and showed me how to make my works my own. I thank you from the deepest regions of my heart.
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