Why???

Why do I have to be the stupidest person on the face of this planet? Why is it that after being so "good" all my life (wanting to do wrong but doing good because that was what was better) I am now faced with more rebellion than ever and falling into it little by little? Why is it that I have to be who I am? Why can't I be satisfied with who I am? Why can't I cry when I want to the most? Why don't I have the courage to fess up and make things less difficult in the long run even though I'm scared of what will happen? Why is it that life sucks so bad yet is better than I could ever imagine all at the same time? Why is it that whenever I have a good day my parents come home and ruin it all? Why is it that I have to be 18 right now, I can't be in my own house with the kids in school and planning dinner for when my beautiful husband comes home? Why is it that I can't be the woman of God everyone makes me out to be? Why can't I be the woman of God that God wants me to be? Why can't I be the woman of God that I want to be? Why are the simplest things in life so hard? Why can't I just live on my own, free of the burdens of parents - yes, they are more of a burden, more of a nuisance than help. Why is it that even though I know the answers to the problems I don't know how to fix them? Why is it that I keep myself from crawling into a hole and letting myself rot? Why is it that I can help others better than I can help myself? Why is it that no matter what I do I end up hurting someone? Why is it that the best things in life are often forbidden by people who love you? Why is it that I have to question my parent's reasoning on things? Why is it that even though I try and see things from their point of view this time it doesn't work and their reasoning doesn't make sense? Why has it come to the point where I have to tell my parents to tell me that they love me? Why do I set goals for myself and fail them everytime? Why am I so optomistic when I have everything against me? Why is everything against me? Why am I so negative? Why can't I sleep at night? Why do I stay in this perishable container instead of going home? Why does it feel like I love people more than they love me? Why is it that when I have a bad day certain people blame it on relationships? Why to my friend's friends have to be such jerks and make my friends miserable constantly? Why is my life surrounded by drama? Why is there no way out of this? Why do I feel so helpless? Why do I feel like I have to do all the work for anything to change? Why am I writing this instead of getting schoolwork done? Why is it that I let everyone down? Why is it that Target isn't hiring right now? Why do you have to schedule an interview for Chili's? Why aren't any pet clinics hiring? Why am I so immature? Why do I have to feel and think this way? Why?