The Dreaded Day in May

Well, folks, he's gone. He left at 13:30 this afternoon. I was strong and didn't bawl like I wanted too. His Mom told me not to cry so that she wouldn't cry. She did well, I couldn't see any tears, but her face was red and getting redder. She probably cried when she got inside the house. (She stayed home while Josh, Josh's Dad, Austin, and Lindsey went down there) I couldn't hold it in once I got in the car. I cried, especially as I watched him drive away, realizing that what I just saw of him would be the last time I see his face in person for two to four weeks. He's coming back for his family reunion on July 25 and he invited me to go, so I'll see him then. I cried about half of the way home.

These tears I shed aren't for me alone. Yes, I'm sad that I won't see him often, but they are more out of proudness of him, but also excitement and anxiety for him. He'll miss me as much as I miss him, but he's a man, and men don't cry...right? Just kidding Josh. I know men cry. It's a manly thing to do. I'd better not get into that.

He's gone, and I can finally move on. Not that I want him to leave or anything, but he has to in order for my anxiety over his leaving to finally dissipate. Yeah, I'll miss him incredibly, but he'll be back to visit, and I can learn to cope with him being more than 20 minutes away. It'll be hard, but after a week or two hopefully I'll adjust and be able to take my summer slowly.

That's my plan for summer. Take it slow. Spend time at home, hang out with friends, finish my schoolwork, just slow down and relax. There were times this past fall when I wanted to just drop everything and stop. I was good and kept my commitments, hoping that I was doing the right thing. I want my summer to be as slow as possible this year. Enjoy every day for what it is, lounging around and drinking lots of Sunkist. My goal this summer is to be bored. To be stuck at the house, friends can't hang out, brothers off doing their own thing, Dad monopolizing the t.v. in the living room, and everything I can think of to do won't seem entertaining. This may sound odd to you, but if you knew how busy and stressed I've been lately, you'd understand.

I'd better go now, but before I do, Brent, the reason I didn't apply myself is because I needed my parent's financial information to do so and I apologize, but I don't know those things...at all. I filled out as much as I could and bugged my parents to do the rest. I know I'm an "adult" now. I did as much as I could. Now I shall go.

Tschüss!